i was going to make part 2 of the post thoughts and commentary on the session itself. However, it seems i really screwed up and Mistress is quite pisses at Her slave. Fortunately, there will be some discipline forthcoming (i will be told the exact nature tonight) and thus the slave will have an opportunity to make amends.
i made 3 dumb moves, well, 2 moves and 1 physical issue. Mistress had said, before She went to sleep, that She would be up around 9 or 10. At 10:30, this stupid slave entered Her room and respectfully awoke Her to see if She overslept. As i said, a stupid move!! The slave thought it was doing right at the time but now understands how stupid it was. The slave compounded the issue by entering the bathroom after She finished Her shower and left, not thinking that She would need to return for additional requirements (make-up, etc). After entering the bathroom, the slave took its place in its slave bed which has angered Mistress greatly. She would have much preferred to be alone. Again, not smart on the slave's part. i offer no excuses or explanation. Mistress is upset with Her slave's actions and the slave does not wish to anger Her more by offering its thoughts. The slave's thoughts (or even motivation) are not important. What is important is that Mistress is upset with Her slave. The last issue that upset Mistress was the slave verbally moaning & moving around too much in its slave bench toilet chair. Again, i offer no excuse. The situation was created by the slave entering the toilet bench on its own (without the help of Mistress Kristian) which put a significant pressure point on the shoulder of the slave (which was re-injured in a fall a few weeks ago). Again, the slave is totally at fault for moving around too much trying to find a better spot that did not cause shoulder pain. The slave should have not entered the bench itself (without the extra assistance afforded by Mistress). The slave also should have used its "Yellow" safe-word rather than fidget about. At least then the slave would have been given permission to speak and let Mistress Kristian know of the situation. It was stupid on the slave's part to have not done so.
The session itself was an honor as always. The bright spot for the slave was being able to flush a larger than usual amount of "brown". The slave had trouble with Mistress's "golden" last night, which is again unacceptable!!! All must be flushed without delay. For some reason, the slave did better with the brown than golden.
This slave offers its deepest and most sincere apologies to Mistress Kristian for angering Her. The slave awaits its punishment to offer amends to Mistress Kristian and to further prove itself to Her. Even more than a whip or a slap, Mistress's words of displeasure to the slave was amazingly effective. For a slave such as i, who truly takes pride, honor, and meaning in pleasing its Contract Owner, strong words of displeasure cut just as a knife would. i am deeply, truly, and whole-heartedly sorry for my stupidity, Mistress Kristian. The only comment the slave will make is that all it did it did in good faith in an effort to try and please Mistress Kristian. The effect was not as expected and therefore, unacceptable. Good intentions or good faith mistakes are still screw-ups and thus unacceptable for the slave's service. The end result is the most important and the end result was a series of screw-ups by the slave.
Please forgive me Mistress!!!! i will learn and grow from my mistakes!
Monday, November 23, 2009
11/22 & 11/23 Service - Post 1 of 2
This will be a 2 part post to the blog.
First off, as the reader may know from postings below, it has been a little while since my last service to Mistress Kristian. This weekend was a true blessing! i was able to serve Mistress as Her toilet Sunday night and Monday morning. The wait was well worth it... seeing my Beloved Goddess always is!!! Part 1 of the post is for discussion of my "chastity" before seeing Mistress. i was placed in "chastity" beginning Friday morning first thing. Now, "chastity" is in quotes as i was not wearing a long term device but was forbidden to obtain any self pleasure. At times, i did use my chastity device that Mistress enjoys imposing on me during my toilet service... a Kali's Teeth. This is not able to be worn in day to day living but is amazingly effective during service. Kali has a heck of a bite.
The though of serving Mistress... being under the most Devine bottom i have ever been privileged to serve, was almost too much for me to bear. Many times, thinking of seeing Goddess & being the vessel of Her waste disposal, i nearly lost control of myself. Someone may be wondering how She would even know if i did. She would know!! If Goddess asked, She would know because i cannot lie to such a Divine creature as Mistress Kristian. i would have had to have told Her and suffer Her disappointment. And, for that matter, i would know. Thankfully though, i never lost my self control. The momentary pleasure was no where near worth failing Mistress. Disappointing Mistress Kristian hurts more than any lash could!
By the time Mistress arrived, i was in a fairly "difficult" state. She did not instruct Her slave to worship Her feet while W/we caught up on things (thank goodness). In my state, with Her Goddess feet, would have proved to be a very "stressful" task. Once in service, She used the Kali on me as usual except for a period this morning. The ironic part was the only time i didn't try to get aroused in service was when i was not wearing the device. i found (and still do) find that fact to be thought provoking. i don't know if subconsciously i knew i'd get in trouble if i did or if my mind had too much respect for Mistress to potentially disrespect Her in such a way (i have no idea how She would react to such an occurrence). i will continue to reflect on the result and perhaps come up with a better conclusion. Once Kali was on, especially during my use, i again tried to get aroused. Of course, then "she" bit as Kali always will.
For those who do not know what a Kali's Teeth chastity device is, please see below......
First off, as the reader may know from postings below, it has been a little while since my last service to Mistress Kristian. This weekend was a true blessing! i was able to serve Mistress as Her toilet Sunday night and Monday morning. The wait was well worth it... seeing my Beloved Goddess always is!!! Part 1 of the post is for discussion of my "chastity" before seeing Mistress. i was placed in "chastity" beginning Friday morning first thing. Now, "chastity" is in quotes as i was not wearing a long term device but was forbidden to obtain any self pleasure. At times, i did use my chastity device that Mistress enjoys imposing on me during my toilet service... a Kali's Teeth. This is not able to be worn in day to day living but is amazingly effective during service. Kali has a heck of a bite.
The though of serving Mistress... being under the most Devine bottom i have ever been privileged to serve, was almost too much for me to bear. Many times, thinking of seeing Goddess & being the vessel of Her waste disposal, i nearly lost control of myself. Someone may be wondering how She would even know if i did. She would know!! If Goddess asked, She would know because i cannot lie to such a Divine creature as Mistress Kristian. i would have had to have told Her and suffer Her disappointment. And, for that matter, i would know. Thankfully though, i never lost my self control. The momentary pleasure was no where near worth failing Mistress. Disappointing Mistress Kristian hurts more than any lash could!
By the time Mistress arrived, i was in a fairly "difficult" state. She did not instruct Her slave to worship Her feet while W/we caught up on things (thank goodness). In my state, with Her Goddess feet, would have proved to be a very "stressful" task. Once in service, She used the Kali on me as usual except for a period this morning. The ironic part was the only time i didn't try to get aroused in service was when i was not wearing the device. i found (and still do) find that fact to be thought provoking. i don't know if subconsciously i knew i'd get in trouble if i did or if my mind had too much respect for Mistress to potentially disrespect Her in such a way (i have no idea how She would react to such an occurrence). i will continue to reflect on the result and perhaps come up with a better conclusion. Once Kali was on, especially during my use, i again tried to get aroused. Of course, then "she" bit as Kali always will.
For those who do not know what a Kali's Teeth chastity device is, please see below......
Monday, November 16, 2009
11/16 Update
As part of my contract to Mistress Kristian, i am to do at least 2 updates per month.
i am sorry to report that thus far this month, i have nothing new to report in regards to my service to Her. i have not seen or served Mistress since Oct 4th. As such, i suppose the only update i have is one of disappointment in not being able to serve since. i have, to my knowledge, done everything asked of me by Mistress. i hope i have not upset Her. i am to report on emotions though, which was one of Mistress Kristian's instructions prior to entering this year long contract. my emotion right now is one of disappointment (at not being able to serve Mistress Kristian for so long) and borderline depression (i miss Her so). Hopefully She is just very busy and W/we will make up for lost time. Prior to the contract, Mistress & i seemed to be getting very close. Each time we saw each other the D/s relationship seemed to be deepening. i still adore Mistress Kristian as much as ever but at times i cannot help but wonder if She is not as interested in me as a slave as She once was. i really hope this is not the case. i truly thought that Mistress would take more of an interest in Her slave and that W/we would explore greater depths of toilet service but for some reason, it seems to be the opposite, at least in the short term. Like i said above, hopefully She is just busy with moving in to a new place and this is a small glitch that will be resolved soon. i'm sure if i could be used by Her for a longer period of time i would feel better. i just miss Her so much.
The only other update i have is that i finished my second design of a toilet slave bed & box. i think this will work very well when i do finally get to see Mistress. i'll post pics soon on another update.
i am sorry to report that thus far this month, i have nothing new to report in regards to my service to Her. i have not seen or served Mistress since Oct 4th. As such, i suppose the only update i have is one of disappointment in not being able to serve since. i have, to my knowledge, done everything asked of me by Mistress. i hope i have not upset Her. i am to report on emotions though, which was one of Mistress Kristian's instructions prior to entering this year long contract. my emotion right now is one of disappointment (at not being able to serve Mistress Kristian for so long) and borderline depression (i miss Her so). Hopefully She is just very busy and W/we will make up for lost time. Prior to the contract, Mistress & i seemed to be getting very close. Each time we saw each other the D/s relationship seemed to be deepening. i still adore Mistress Kristian as much as ever but at times i cannot help but wonder if She is not as interested in me as a slave as She once was. i really hope this is not the case. i truly thought that Mistress would take more of an interest in Her slave and that W/we would explore greater depths of toilet service but for some reason, it seems to be the opposite, at least in the short term. Like i said above, hopefully She is just busy with moving in to a new place and this is a small glitch that will be resolved soon. i'm sure if i could be used by Her for a longer period of time i would feel better. i just miss Her so much.
The only other update i have is that i finished my second design of a toilet slave bed & box. i think this will work very well when i do finally get to see Mistress. i'll post pics soon on another update.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)