Dreams

Just some ramblings and thoughts..........


* i dream of being a lifestyle slave to Maitresse Kristian.
* i dream of being a long term toilet used for extended and for often recurring periods to Maitresse Kristian.
* i dream of an inescapable contract binding me to frequent toilet service to Maitresse.
* i dream of being bound on a professionally made custom toilet bench designed for long term use and locked away in a closet or bathroom modified for my presence.
* i dream of being locked away in the darkness behind closed doors... forgotten until Maitresse needs to use me... with nothing but boredom and straining to hear Maitresse coming to occupy my time.
* i dream of a toilet bench with a custom funnel that all golden and brown materials may be deposited in to....... of having no choice what-so-ever except to dispose of any wastes Maitresse Kristian chooses.
* i dream of utter sexual frustration to focus my slave mind on the service of Maitresse.
* i dream of reaching a point of being willing to do anything for a "release" and striving to please Maitresse... only to ensure my continued frustration through Her pleasure with the dedicated service shown to Her in my hopes of gaining the privilege of a "release"...
* i dream of living off of nothing but the golden and brown wastes of Maitresse, along with anything else She decides to "flush"... Her nail clippings, ear and nose "stuff", phlegm, and the like.. during each extended period.
* i dream of being "shown off" by Maitresse to Her Domme friends and being loaned, rented, or shared by Her enhance Her status among slave Owners.
* i dream of being turned in to a level of toilet slave usually only found in the world of fiction writing.
* i dream of being a real and total toilet slave without a safe-word, reprieve, or choice of how i am used.
* i dream of "hitting" the lottery so that i would be able to not work and thus my finance my long term slavery to Her.
* i dream of becoming Her complete and ultimate toilet.
* i dream of Maitresse Kristian.

Torment of Chastity

i am so aroused that i almost can't stand it. i have been in chastity since Wednesday (it is Saturday) as part of my instructions for prep to service Goddess Kristian. i am to be Her toilet today and the waiting and anticipation are driving me mad. i wish i were allowed to relieve myself while waiting. The combination of lack of release, pent up longing from my period without being in service to Her, and the anticipation of Her arrival have combined to have me in a state of desperation for release. i do not know if i will be allowed to pleasure myself after She is gone. It would be torture to not.

i have written about my dreams of being Her toilet for days and days. However, i wonder how bad it would be if i were in chastity for weeks leading up to it and then during the long term service? i have a feeling the desperation would be maddening; and when combined with living off of nothing but Her Goddess wastes for several days in a row would be a most severe slave test.

i hope She arrives soon!!!!!!