Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just a Couple More Days!!!!

i am sitting around thinking, dreaming, and longing for Saturday to come. It's almost like waiting for Christmas as a kid. i cannot wait to see the ultimate Goddess and to be be Her slave. i hope i do well. i hope She enjoys Herself and Her slave. i find myself fearful that i won't perform and praying i do well. She has said i will be used without regard... at Her slave's request. i hope when She needs to brown, She simply does it without a care in the world for Her slave under Her. i find myself wondering if the meeting is truly going to happen... is it too good to be true... as if i will awake and it was a dream. i also find myself slipping in to a day-dream... that my Goddess is coming to enslave me in permanent toilet service of no escape and nothing but a toilet. Life is not fantasy though.. but it is fun to reflect and dream. i await Your arrival, dear Maitresse Kristian... i await to serve You!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Upcoming Service!!!!

The day i had thought may not arrive appears to be just around the corner!! Maitresse is planning to have me serve Her this weekend and i deeply hope nothing happens to change that. From conversations, i may even be so lucky as to be in service long enough to receive 2 feedings from Her. i have written at length of my devotion to Her and longing of service. It has been so long since i have seen Her that i am both extremely excited and amazingly nervous. i am concerned with my ability to perform to the level She deserves given i am "out of practice". Maitresse is a kind but strict Goddess. She does take concern in Her slave's well-being. However, i sincerely hope that each and every time She sits upon me She will not care about me at all... i deeply hope She will be able to simply use Her slave. To this end, i have purchased a couple of open-mouth gags for Her to review and if She likes, use on me.

i need this.. Her total use and regulation of me as a owned object to consume wastes more than words describe. i can already feel my dear beloved Goddess sitting upon me... allowing Her humble slave to, if only for a while, to be what it longs for more than anything.. Her toilet. i am most happy as Her toilet and a thing of Hers. i am still somewhat in shock and to a lesser extent, disbelief, that i will finally see Her. i had truly began to give up any hope of being Hers again. This past week has had me in such a good mood. Life just feels better knowing i am again Her toilet. The reader already knows how i feel about long-term ownership by Maitresse Kristian and my desires to be Her toilet more than any sex drive. i hope this is the re-start of seeing Her on a somewhat regular basis.

i count the hours, dear Goddess and Owner, until i am being of service to You. i live for Your ownership and use. Thank You in advance!! A session of service the length You have described scares me (due to time since last service) but is what i dream and long for. i am Yours to use as You see fit.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Story Exerpt

Below are a few excerpts from my favorite story. Each time i read it i cannot help but think of Maitresse and the depths of my longing to serve and be owned. It is, of course, fantasy. However, what a wonderful thought it is to think of seeing only Her Goddess bottom as a toilet slave such as is below. No sex, no masturbation, no release... only toilet service. It would be a worthwhile life if serving the Supreme Being, Maitresse Kristian.




"In you go." She said unceremoniously and I complied, laying myself carefully inside the box, sliding my head through the hole at the top and into the toilet affixed on the other side. She slid the neckpiece into place, which locked my head into the toilet on the other side and proceeded to affix metal cuffs to my wrists and ankles. These were in turn locked to the D rings within the box. The two catheter tubes were threaded through holes drilled out for them and the tubes attached to their respective receiving bag. The electrode wires were threaded through another hole drilled out for it and She stood back and smiled at the site. She placed the lid on and deftly nailed it into place. Then set the TENS unit on top and plugged the electrode wires into it. Closing the door, she went back into the bathroom.

Looking at the site, She say an odd looking toilet attached to a wooden protrusion tastefully colored as the rest of her bathroom was. On the surface of the wooden protrusion were two holes. Within these holes were visible my nipples, threaded as they were with candlewick. She decided to let the plaster harden around them before she filled the holes with wax and created two inset candles. She placed the toilet down over the hood and locked it into place. I heard the clicking of the lock and felt a sense of finality. It was frightening, given my current situation.

"This will be the last time you are ever addressed by anyone, ever again. From this point on, you will most likely never again see another human face. You will never be spoken to and never be regarded as even existing. You've become a toilet... my toilet and nothing, and I do mean nothing, more. You will never again move, or walk about, or see anything except the bottom of this bowl and, of course, my ass. And, you should feel privileged at that too." She mocked a scolding look. "Speaking is forbidden to you. If you speak, I will use the TENS unit, not that I don't reserve the right to use it any time I feel like it. If that proves unsuccessful in silencing you, I will shut the catheter valves. If that becomes unsuccessful, I will fill this bowl with water until you drown. Please, do not push me to that limit." She stood up and kissed Her palm and placed it upon my lips."Oh, and before I forget... Thank you." She smiled and closed the lid.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Portable Toilet Idea

Just a very quick post. Found this pic on-line. Not a bad idea or way for a toilet to be a "portable" toilet slave... hotel rooms, etc. i would think it could be concealed in a large duffel bag for transport without attracting any undue notice. Only thought/suggestion would be for the slave to be turned around for use. Maitresse would have to step over and around the slave in this set-up which would not be good. A slave is there to enhance its Owner's life, not cause additional work and effort!!! This set-up is easier to make work though as when the slave is the other way around, the depth must be more to allow to toilet seat placement. The seat must be moved forward and therefore does not fit the slave's head as well without being wider to allow for shoulders to be inside. Still, it's got me thinking...........