Feb Post

It's amazing how much and how often i think of Maitresse. Often they are of just Her... what is She doing, is She having a good day, etc. However, i also think (and dream) a great deal of servitude. Does She have a proper toilet at Her "disposal" today, does She think of me and if so, what does She think of me. These are the types of questions. i also, of course, think of the act(s) themselves... of being fed and hydrated by my Supreme Goddess. However, i often ponder why i am so drawn to Her and why she keeps me "around" as a slave. The answer is, i think, we are very alike though in opposite directions (Domme & slave). For me, it's much deeper than receiving the actual "act". That is highly important... taking Her wastes and using them to nourish my own slave body. Being used to dispose of Her royal waste the pinochle of a toilet's existence and function... a toilet such as i. Maitresse as well enjoys the act of using another for such an intimate and submissive function. Much has been written on this topic and i won't take up more of the reader's time with this though (at least for now).

The real topic of this blog is the other aspects of my slavery and why i think Maitresse and i are so compatible. First, please allow me to say that it appears a dream may in fact come true. i may end up being a toilet to Maitresse for several days!!! Maitresse seems to be really in to this idea and that pleases me greatly (as i want to please Her greatly). Bound, locked, ignored, and forgotten are a huge part of the my slave desires, longing, and in fact being. More importantly, Maitresse greatly enjoys this aspect as well. She is a kind Goddess and worries of Her slave's well-being. Sometimes to the point of sacrificing Her enjoyment of the session, i believe. It is my hope that She can cease viewing Her slave as a human and more of a thing as soon as it enters service. i try hard to reach that point myself... not being an i, me, etc but an "it". i love the thought of Goddess not even thinking of me while in service and definitely not caring of my plight during a use. i feel that the blocking off of the slave's body during a session has added more to this aspect and kept away from the rest of the house even more so... no visual or audio stimulation... simply locked away to be of use when needed. i believe that Maitresse enjoys this part as well... very much so in fact. i hope that She becomes comfortable enough to leave me when She wants and without my even knowing. i love the thoughts of Her being "out and about", doing Her thing and smiling at the fact that a toilet is locked away at home. While such sessions carry some risk, i freely and without hesitation submit to those risks. i love the fact that Maitresse would have such power over another... to completely relegate them to an "it"... to a thing locked away. i believe this to be one of the most sincere, deepest forms of slavery. i believe Maitresse finds the thought to be highly pleasurable. i do hope She can "let Herself go" in a long session and enter that state of mind that She truly owns a "thing". i want Her to experience the high of owning another in such a deep manor... to control them in such a deep manor that they are a part of Her home... not a human... their very nourishment provided by Her and Her bodies wastes no longer needed. i believe that Maitresse continues to use this unworthy slave for just such a desire. my humble opinion being that W/we both seek the same thing... to explore and achieve the deepest level and ownership possible. i wonder, dream, and worry of being presented with the option to being a full-time toilet (or part-time "full-time") to Her. i know i would jump at the chance but would i regret it. Probably not :) i hope She will continue this journey of discovery and i hope to be allowed to come along as the "lab rat".

i hope You have a most wonderful Valentine's Day, dear Goddess