How much can a slave miss its Owner? That's a very good question and i sincerely hope not have to find out. What i can say is how much i've been missing my Mistress... the Supreme Goddess Kristian. i have not been of service to Maitresse since early January and i am missing Her greatly! Actually, "missing" Maitresse isn't anywhere close to an accurate description. There is an emptiness that has been persistent for several weeks. After becoming accustomed to being of service to Goddess, the long period of Her absence has left a hole in the slave! i have written a good deal in regards to longer term service and the conflicting emotions that would arise when i thought of expanded slavery. Having been not used as a toilet by Maitresse for so long, i can honestly now say that being a toilet slave has become a huge driving force in the purpose of my life during the time i have been blessed to know Goddess. i love my life; i love just about every part of my life from the hobbies i have to even not minding my work. However, being "property" to someone such as Maitresse Kristian, being an owned slave and specifically a full and total toilet to Her, provides me with my deepest sense of meaning. i could give myself to Her as Her completely objectified toilet, i think to the point of a "permeant" toilet at Her disposal. Short of that, i am open to any travel She desires to allow Her slave to be of service to Her more often.
i am worried that i am still struggling somewhat with totally submitting as a slave. i wonder if my needs...... the needs of serving Her.... are too pervasive. As a slave, Goddess's needs are far more important than mine. Does my self-pity and eternal longing to serve beneath Her mean that i am not submissive enough yet? i hope not! my longing is driven by the deep-seated need to be owned, used, and objectified by Her. i simply long to be used, to be a toilet as She, not i, would desire. my hopes and longing stops at the desire to be Her property; Her owned object to dispose of Her wastes. Exactly how and who uses the slave is not my concern. That is left to Maitresse. my desires stop at being allowed to enter service; permeant, long term, highly restricted, continued part time... whatever most pleases Her. i completely surrender service decisions to Goddess... my desire is to submit. Hopefully, my feelings are consistent with being a true slave.
On a secondary note... i would like to wish Maitresse a very happy and healthy Birthday! For privacy reasons, i will not and would not reveal what day or even the exact month Her Birthday is. i'll simply say Happy Birthday Goddess in the not too distant future.
i have about 50% of the next toilet slave story completed. This slave's plans are to have it completed and submitted for publication within a week or so. i hope that Maitresse likes it. i enjoy writing but enjoy writing stories that please Her the most. She is the slave's inspiration.
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