Final Thoughts - Chastity Exercise

Yesterday was the last day of my Maitresse directed chastity. It has been an "interesting" experience. i'm not sure if Maitresse Kristian was wanting to punish Her slave directly or wanted to apply greater control over Her slave. In either (or both) case(s), it certainly would be considered a success.

Getting the device on was a, well, nightmare on Friday. Both Maitresse and i had significant trouble with the fit. However, as is the case with most anything, practice increases proficiency. By the end of the week it was much easier to get on. It was still somewhat difficult but could be accomplished without too much trouble. On the down side, i am actually a bit sore. The fit was a bit tight. i had to continually apply lotion to it in order to keep a deep burning down in my lower scrotum. That was the biggest issue, the lower area where the ring goes. Perhaps a better lubricant such as petroleum jelly or other item that would last much longer rather than absorb in to the skin would allow for more comfortable use. The pins can pinch the "member's" skin but that is a small issue which is quickly (believe me, very quickly) fixed. If i can figure out how to keep the ring from hurting so much, extended wear would be much more comfortable.

i certainly understand why many Mistresses prefer to use enforced chastity either as a punishment or often to encourage the slave's peak performance in its duties. i can't say i had become "desperate" for release by the end of the week but i was certainly a "focused" slave and can only imagine the feelings if i were to be or had been a toilet slave during that time. i found myself thinking a lot, and thus getting uselessly excited as much as the 6000 would allow, about Maitresse; Her Goddess form, Her use of me as Her object, Her Devine body's wastes, and the fact that She had put me in such a place. i so longed and desired to be under Her and to know at least the pleasure of Her use even if i could not experience sexual pleasure for myself. i did, to say the least, desire release more and more every day but at the same time became more and more focused every day. However, i also found that i was excited by the idea that Maitresse was demanding the chastity. i found that i was experiencing dual and competing emotions... i wanted to be allowed to pleasure myself and at the same time found pleasure in not being allowed by Mistress to do so. This combination only further added to my discomfort and desire! i could not have a release which i needed but the fact She would not allow me to do so excited me. And so went the circle.

i wore the device at night and during the day except for at work. Nightly wear was a little tough but only because i'm a stomach sleeper. i had to adjust this habit and sleep on my back or side. However, i am a firm believer that wearing at night is a "must". This is when the slave is most likely to have it's most arousing thoughts and could even have a "wet dream" as it becomes more backed up and easily aroused. i also found that wearing it while doing manual work could be an issue. i had to take it off while doing some fairly hard yard work on Saturday. i think that the device, given how it constricts the testicles, could actually be dangerous if the slave was doing heavy lifting. i would caution anyone to be very careful doing such activities as i could see something rupturing sort of like a hernia given the lack of movement and tight restriction as a heavy object was lifted.

i honestly wonder what it would be like for Maitresse to hold the only key. As i mentioned in my first post on this topic, W/we both had one. The distance between us makes this unlikely, at least for now. Perhaps when i am able to locate closer She may in fact become my key holder. i could see me being placed not only in key holder chastity but a cuckold as well. What a torture that would be for a slave that worships Goddess Kristian as i do! As far as fantasies go, they centered around long (i mean LONG) term toilet slavery, chastity, and denial. In all honesty, i dreamed about being such a slave for weeks or longer... the effects of such service would have on the slave, the total objectification, the complete frustration... this fantasy dominated the slave during its experience. A story of this nature, and the thoughts of Maitresse being the Owner, caused the slave to feel its allowed release this morning.

All in all, it was a fulfilling experience for the slave; which i hope was Mistress's intention. It was punishment, yes, but looking back, a great experience never the less. Probably much in the same way a pain slave finds it's torture to be a good experience once it's over. It has awakened thoughts and additional ideas regarding toilet service and guaranteed consumption which i will be investigating. However, it also allowed for other thoughts as well. i found myself wondering about physical punishments... pain application... and my limited experience in such areas. i also wondered greatly about being loaned to a transsexual for "bottom" services by Maitresse. However, most of all, i though of Maitresse, being Her toilet, and how to become much more proficient and a better slave to Her.