Hopes & Thoughts

It's amazing how much a slave can come to miss its Owner. Words cannot describe the "emptiness" i have felt in not serving Maitresse during my absence of use. i miss speaking with Her, catching up on what has been happening in Her life, and in general how Her world has been going. i miss greatly the contact with Her; just knowing that i am still allowed in Her presence. However, i also truly miss Her objectification of me and being made to feel as a functioning toilet for Her use!!! It's amazing, actually, how i come to long and yearn for Her use as time goes by between services. i become consumed with the thoughts and desires, in fact needs, to become Her vessel to dispose of Her most Supreme Goddess essences all the while regarded as a piece of furniture She owns.

Lately, the idea of being Her slave locked in a hotel and used as She needs is all-consuming (pardon the pun). Goddess Kristian seems to truly enjoy "object slavery" and i can envision such a session as turning Her devoted slave in to nothing more to Her during the session than a toilet She comes to use with little regard. i sincerely hope for harsh and demanding use... no room for failure and no sympathy for what must be disposed of. i can think of no greater honor than to be kept away in such service for a day or two and consuming nothing but the waste products my Goddess Maitresse Kristian deposits. i want Her to own me as Her toilet; fully, completely, and totally for however long She would choose to keep me. i truly desire to serve Her in such a way that She does not worry about my consumption... it would be "guaranteed". This has been somewhat resolved through my purchase of a funnel gag. It will serve very well for Her golden though a slight modification is required. The straps are to short to buckle around my head but that is easily fixed. Total guarantees of full brown disposal are a little more difficult. i am considering a large diameter o-ring gag. This should ensure that She can use Her toilet with no worries. i want, more than anything, for Maitresse to be able to use Her toilet without regard or compassion... to be used in as "natural" fashion as She possibly can.

i don't know if this post has adequately conveyed the depth of this slave's desire to be objectified as a toilet to Maitresse Kristian. i suppose all i actually need to say is that i hope i have come up with some new options for Her to turn this slave in to as much of a toilet, and thus as much of an "object", as She would desire.

i hope that the Royal Maitresse Kristian blesses Her devoted slave with a response, and call to service, soon. i cannot describe how i yearn to take my rightful place, quite literally, under Her.