Updated Thoughts... Still Hoping for Service to Goddess

It's amazing really, how much i have come to miss being a toilet slave. It has been over 2 months since my last use and i have come to long to be bound, objectified, and used. i especially miss Maitresse's use. i truly in my heart of hearts love to serve Her. She is my ultimate Goddess and i miss being under Her so. i suppose, as much as i miss being a toilet, i could visit a Pro Domme... O/out contract was not mutually exclusive. The reality is, however, that i want to serve no other Goddess than Maitresse with the exception of those She would ever designate, as this would still be serving Her. i have served no other Goddess since the signing of the contract. Maitresse is my Goddess, my Mistress, and my slave Owner as long as She keeps me. The trouble is, i wonder if She still plans to keep me. W/we texted a few times but it has been a long time since i have received an email, etc from Her. Only short texts that "things are fine", etc. Words cannot describe how empty i feel without having been under my Goddess. i have an utter devotion to Her. There is greater one on this earth than Goddess Kristian.

i think all the time about the "hotel idea" i have written about. More than at my home, i feel like She could truly turn me in to what i am in such a place... an absolute, total object to consume what She gives. i love the idea of Her being able to come and go and enjoy Herself and only view me as Her bathroom. If She would so like, even for a few days... i would get nothing but Her wastes. i often fantasize of being Her toilet forever. This is not realistic but being Her toilet for a few days... what an honor for this slave and hopefully what a sense of power for Maitresse!! Having someone / something locked away whose only purpose to You would be to take care of waste disposals would have to be very empowering to a Domme, i would imagine. No sexual gratification, no self release, and no release from service until the time was complete... only a thing to flush golden, brown, nose, and other wastes. It would be a dream come true !!

i just hope that Maitresse still has a use for me. Having gone 2 months without being of service to Her i am very concerned! Scared actually... that She is loosing interest in Her slave.