Upcoming Service!!!!

The day i had thought may not arrive appears to be just around the corner!! Maitresse is planning to have me serve Her this weekend and i deeply hope nothing happens to change that. From conversations, i may even be so lucky as to be in service long enough to receive 2 feedings from Her. i have written at length of my devotion to Her and longing of service. It has been so long since i have seen Her that i am both extremely excited and amazingly nervous. i am concerned with my ability to perform to the level She deserves given i am "out of practice". Maitresse is a kind but strict Goddess. She does take concern in Her slave's well-being. However, i sincerely hope that each and every time She sits upon me She will not care about me at all... i deeply hope She will be able to simply use Her slave. To this end, i have purchased a couple of open-mouth gags for Her to review and if She likes, use on me.

i need this.. Her total use and regulation of me as a owned object to consume wastes more than words describe. i can already feel my dear beloved Goddess sitting upon me... allowing Her humble slave to, if only for a while, to be what it longs for more than anything.. Her toilet. i am most happy as Her toilet and a thing of Hers. i am still somewhat in shock and to a lesser extent, disbelief, that i will finally see Her. i had truly began to give up any hope of being Hers again. This past week has had me in such a good mood. Life just feels better knowing i am again Her toilet. The reader already knows how i feel about long-term ownership by Maitresse Kristian and my desires to be Her toilet more than any sex drive. i hope this is the re-start of seeing Her on a somewhat regular basis.

i count the hours, dear Goddess and Owner, until i am being of service to You. i live for Your ownership and use. Thank You in advance!! A session of service the length You have described scares me (due to time since last service) but is what i dream and long for. i am Yours to use as You see fit.