Final Thoughts - Chastity Exercise

Yesterday was the last day of my Maitresse directed chastity. It has been an "interesting" experience. i'm not sure if Maitresse Kristian was wanting to punish Her slave directly or wanted to apply greater control over Her slave. In either (or both) case(s), it certainly would be considered a success.

Getting the device on was a, well, nightmare on Friday. Both Maitresse and i had significant trouble with the fit. However, as is the case with most anything, practice increases proficiency. By the end of the week it was much easier to get on. It was still somewhat difficult but could be accomplished without too much trouble. On the down side, i am actually a bit sore. The fit was a bit tight. i had to continually apply lotion to it in order to keep a deep burning down in my lower scrotum. That was the biggest issue, the lower area where the ring goes. Perhaps a better lubricant such as petroleum jelly or other item that would last much longer rather than absorb in to the skin would allow for more comfortable use. The pins can pinch the "member's" skin but that is a small issue which is quickly (believe me, very quickly) fixed. If i can figure out how to keep the ring from hurting so much, extended wear would be much more comfortable.

i certainly understand why many Mistresses prefer to use enforced chastity either as a punishment or often to encourage the slave's peak performance in its duties. i can't say i had become "desperate" for release by the end of the week but i was certainly a "focused" slave and can only imagine the feelings if i were to be or had been a toilet slave during that time. i found myself thinking a lot, and thus getting uselessly excited as much as the 6000 would allow, about Maitresse; Her Goddess form, Her use of me as Her object, Her Devine body's wastes, and the fact that She had put me in such a place. i so longed and desired to be under Her and to know at least the pleasure of Her use even if i could not experience sexual pleasure for myself. i did, to say the least, desire release more and more every day but at the same time became more and more focused every day. However, i also found that i was excited by the idea that Maitresse was demanding the chastity. i found that i was experiencing dual and competing emotions... i wanted to be allowed to pleasure myself and at the same time found pleasure in not being allowed by Mistress to do so. This combination only further added to my discomfort and desire! i could not have a release which i needed but the fact She would not allow me to do so excited me. And so went the circle.

i wore the device at night and during the day except for at work. Nightly wear was a little tough but only because i'm a stomach sleeper. i had to adjust this habit and sleep on my back or side. However, i am a firm believer that wearing at night is a "must". This is when the slave is most likely to have it's most arousing thoughts and could even have a "wet dream" as it becomes more backed up and easily aroused. i also found that wearing it while doing manual work could be an issue. i had to take it off while doing some fairly hard yard work on Saturday. i think that the device, given how it constricts the testicles, could actually be dangerous if the slave was doing heavy lifting. i would caution anyone to be very careful doing such activities as i could see something rupturing sort of like a hernia given the lack of movement and tight restriction as a heavy object was lifted.

i honestly wonder what it would be like for Maitresse to hold the only key. As i mentioned in my first post on this topic, W/we both had one. The distance between us makes this unlikely, at least for now. Perhaps when i am able to locate closer She may in fact become my key holder. i could see me being placed not only in key holder chastity but a cuckold as well. What a torture that would be for a slave that worships Goddess Kristian as i do! As far as fantasies go, they centered around long (i mean LONG) term toilet slavery, chastity, and denial. In all honesty, i dreamed about being such a slave for weeks or longer... the effects of such service would have on the slave, the total objectification, the complete frustration... this fantasy dominated the slave during its experience. A story of this nature, and the thoughts of Maitresse being the Owner, caused the slave to feel its allowed release this morning.

All in all, it was a fulfilling experience for the slave; which i hope was Mistress's intention. It was punishment, yes, but looking back, a great experience never the less. Probably much in the same way a pain slave finds it's torture to be a good experience once it's over. It has awakened thoughts and additional ideas regarding toilet service and guaranteed consumption which i will be investigating. However, it also allowed for other thoughts as well. i found myself wondering about physical punishments... pain application... and my limited experience in such areas. i also wondered greatly about being loaned to a transsexual for "bottom" services by Maitresse. However, most of all, i though of Maitresse, being Her toilet, and how to become much more proficient and a better slave to Her.

Chastity Update - Toilet Box Pix

Thought i'd post a quick update regarding chastity and attach the pics from the revised slave box.

It's actually getting very, well, difficult being in the device. i so want to touch and feel pleasure. Even just writing this, my device is becoming "full" thinking of what Maitresse is requiring of Her slave. i can only imagine what it would be like to be in total key-holder chastity for weeks or months! It would be pure torture for the slave but i am very sure it would also make a very compliant slave. i love Maitresse holding my key and find myself thinking about what it would be like for Her to hold the ONLY key. This prospect, surly spurred on by my exponentially increasing arousal and frankly, growing "lust and desire" adds to the slaves plight. What truly has been a prevailing thought, though, has been the thought of going through such a trial before service to Maitresse and then, kept in the condition through extended toilet service.... perhaps suffering the assured torture of the kali's teeth. This idea goes on to include being a full and complete toilet with nothing to eat or drink other than Goddess's bodily gifts for several days.

The major down side to this punishment is the pain it is now starting to cause. my scrotum is being to chafe and hurt. i try to keep lotion on the inside of the ring which helps. i am also beginning to bruise i think or at least become very sore. At times, a burning in the bottom of the scrotal area is pretty heavy but more often than not i can "work" the skin a bit to find relief. i've been trying to keep an eye for any unnatural discoloration but i have a feeling by the time Friday arrives, i'm going to be pretty sore and not just from "blue balls".

i hope Maitresse is pleased with the direction of Her experiment / requirement / domination of Her slave. Without a doubt, it has already been an "experience" for the slave.

Feeling Very Unworthy

Sometimes i wonder, truly wonder, if i am at all worthy to be Maitresse's toilet slave. Maitresse blessed Her toilet with Her presence on Friday. She seemed pleased with the new toilet box other than the fact it was a little too tall. i can fix that and then do a new slave bed. This should be the final design. However, my service was a disapointment to Her and ever since i've been having feelings failure, unworthiness, and fear (over being allowed to continue to serve Goddess)

i did not do well, and Maitresse's feedback was, as always, direct and brutally honest...... "I have been disappointed in your consumption of golden. Very much so, actually. And the gagging, we also need to work on eliminating that as much as possible because it is distracting to me" .... Regular training will fix the gagging issue and i have some ideas regarding golden and swallowing quickly in the box. Basically, i'm going to work with bottles of water while laying down to work on my swallowing proficiency without closing my mouth. i think that this will help immensely. i so want to be a "great toilet" and am scared of loosing Maitresse. i have made Her an offer of including punishment in O/out sessions (physical punishment/pain). i'm not what i would consider a "pain slave" and have very limited experience in such activities. However, i am scared of loosing Her and if my suffering helps atone for my failures and keeps my Beloved Goddess happier with Her slave, She has every right to punish me... harshly if necessary.

A while back, Maitresse had me purchase a CB-6000 chastity device. It is better than the CB-2000 i bought for my chastity punishment a while back. i was instructed on Friday to put it on and keep it on for 7 days. It has been difficult to say the least. i usually find a release each day and enjoy internet porn. i have limited my porn intake because of this effort to help ease my frustration. It is frustrating, to say the least. i think of Maitresse often and of being Her toilet. i so long for the pleasure of my hand while reading stories of toilet slavery! But, i must say once again, that male chastity is highly effective slave training. my heightened sense of need... my longing for release and pleasure... would make me a much more compliant and focused slave. i cannot imagine what it would feel like to serve Maitresse after such a period of chastity... especially if She traded the CB for the Kali's Teeth once service began. i can't help but feel that i would be a better serving slave due to my denied desires. Maitresse holds one key and i still have the other. Other than during some showers (but not all), a couple hours of yard work, and during my working hours, i have been locked since Friday afternoon around 5 or 6 (i think). At night and early morning are the worst! i wake up trying to get aroused and the morning arousal denied as well. i can only imagine what it's like for slaves in chastity for months and (according to internet writings which may be fiction) years.

i hope Maitresse still "enjoys" Her slave. i am so scared of loosing Her! More than anything i want to please Her as Her toilet. Hopefully i'll find a way. i hope the practice i'm going to try is effective. Pleasing and serving Goddess means the world to this toilet slave!!!


This is the chastity device box. i've been going back and forth regarding publishing a photo with it on. i'll defer to Maitresse. If instructed, i'll be more than happy to publish a photo or two of the device on.