slave's Punishment - pt 1

Mistress Kristian advised of my punishment on Monday. i purchased a chastity device from stockroom and my punishment was to be in chastity from Monday until Sunday. Unfortunately, the device i bought was basically crap. It would either not stay secure or if it did, turned in to a testicular crusher. For the money i spent, it was very disappointing. i am in the process of looking at others and will do some research on a BDSM lifestyle site or two.

However, in an effort to please Mistress, i "enforced" chastity upon myself this week without the aid of a chastity device..... but it is certainly not the same. In some ways, it's better (maybe) and in some, not nearly as effective.

First, let me say that this is the longest i've ever gone without at least some manual "release". Usually, it's no more than a a couple days. In that regard, it has been "interesting". Unfortunately, i can't control having or not having an erection. So, my "enforced" chastity still allows for me to become aroused. This is the down side. The positive, in terms of punishment, is that i am frustrated. i don't know if frustrated is a strong enough word. Not sure if their is a word strong enough. Utterly and fully frustrated may be better, but even that does not do it justice. The nights are the worst but the days are difficult too. i find myself daydreaming at work about Mistress and the services i love to provide Her and the arousal starts. A good "waft of air" can cause arousal. i can't wait for my release. But then again, in this state, i am so much more in tune to the gratification of Mistress and being Her toilet.

It's hard to explain, but the longer i go, the more i am in utter need of being under Her. At night, i dream and dream a lot. i dream of things experienced at the hands of Mistress Kristian and those not yet experienced... of services not yet required by Mistress. i find dreams of being a "public" toilet to Mistress and Her friends to be a recurring dream. There are others as well. Of being a foot slave to Mistress and perhaps Her friends (passes from one to the other, to worship all feet in all states of scents).... once even dreaming i was to "service" another of Her slaves after its own chastity (and i do not think i'm bi and have never serviced another's "manhood"). The common thread though is the fact that i awake with an erection. An erection i cannot allow myself to do anything about because of my commitment to Mistress Kristian and Her instructions (today, my testicules began to physically ache... i'm sure a condition that is basically "blue balls" from my lack of release and ease & duration of arousal). At least if i were in actual chastity device, i would not become physically excited. Yes, i'm sure the mental would still be there but the physical would be hindered. Maybe that would make it easier. Maybe harder. Who knows. Right now i am at least experiencing a small amount of pleasure through my arousal so perhaps a device would be more difficult. Somehow, i'm sure i will find out!